CHRISTINA'S MISSION AND SOME OF HER GIFTS AND SUFFERINGS

She describes the first time she saw Our Lady:

"Our Lady was transparent from a distance and as she came closer and her form filled completely. The light which appeared to glow brightly over Her Heart was actually a Eucharistic Host."

"Be not afraid, I am the Virgin Mary, Queen of Peace and I come in peace."

"Your life and that of the other chosen ones is consecrated to all servants of the Holy Church. You will suffer for them, to atone for their unfaithfulness, so that they may gain the grace to raise themselves again, and attain fruitfulness in their apostolate. If this is not understood by the servants of the Holy Church and the ministers of God, then nothing can save the world"."

Jesus Himself asserted to Christina on May 5, 1992;

"Rejoice and be happy for you have found favor with God. Many long for such and do not find because they do not know how to be little'.

OUR LADY TOLD CHRISTINA: "MY CHILD, YOUR CROSS WILL BE HEAVY..."

OUR BLESSED MOTHER ALSO TOLD HER: "DO NOT WASTE TIME, MY CHILD."

BATTLE FOR SOULS

"My child, you know little of all that is going on in this battle of principalities. This war is greater than all the wars the world has been through. God permits the little ones to be crushed for the saving of souls. Many who are being purified through the cross return to God.
But many do not. . .
Pray more, for the evil one is angry in your response to fulfill the desires of God through me, the Woman clothed in the sun. . .
There are many souls of poor sinners being saved through the little ones. . .
My peace I give you and all my little ones who help you in this great work of God.
There are more souls being lost now than in the world's history in war.
The persecution of the Church is at hand. Those who follow Jesus Christ's vicar will be persecuted and despised. . .

When Christina mentioned to Our Lady seeing the cloud of demons over her house and over those helping her, Our Lady went on. . .

Pray more because the great battle between light and darkness is greater at this time than ever before in the world's history.
The devil, Lucifer, and his army fight the woman clothed in the Sun.

Christina asked, 'Why does God permit this?' Our Lady continued,

It must be. All will be fulfilled as prophesied.
My Heart weeps blood. This deep sorrow of My Heart I offer to God for
My lost children.
I suffer much in union with the Heart of My dear Son Jesus.
I am the Matrix, the Mediatrix of all graces."

Jesus told Christina on January 30,1991:

"Through your love, offering and tears, I tell you I have set free many souls who were bound in the slavery of sin and evil..."

FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT

     The working of the Holy Spirit in Christina's soul as she surrendered more and more to God did not confine itself to the prayer of praise, wonderful as that was. After Mass one morning in a church, miles from her home Christina's soul was rejoicing in praise and love of God. The next thing Christina found herself at home. How she reached home without being aware of driving through a village, negotiating awkward bends and junctions and guiding the vehicle - she will never know except that God Himself accomplished it.

     That Almighty God would ensure this through the care of her guardian angel, Christina would have no difficulty accepting this.

     As Christina, during those years was able to live a quasi-normal routine at her home, she would sometimes attend to the garden and while doing so, receive deep awareness of how every detail of God's creation was designed by Him to reflect an aspect of His saving power and work in the spiritual realm of souls. Whether it be new life and growth or the withering decay of leaves all was an outward sign of the hidden work of God accomplishing His plan of saving souls - in a rich imagery drawn from nature. . .

     The wonder of growth through the warmth of the sun and moisture of the rain - symbolizing the soul's life through the Spirit and God's grace.

      At that time she wrote to her Spiritual Director, Father Gerard McGinnity as follows;

Father,
I will try to explain how I see in some way our bodies and souls. If I am wrong, please do tell me.

     I see our bodies like a flower bed and our souls like a rose. God comes into our lives, and we are all chosen to love and to serve God through loving one another. Now I feel that God comes to weed the flower bed. We let Him weed so much that as the weeds go, the more bare becomes the flower bed, the body. As the light of God shines on the rose, so does it shine on the flower bed. Now if we surrender the flower-bed and rose (body and soul) to God, to continue to allow God to weed, our body becomes bare. But becoming bare means that because of all the things of the world which distract us, and all the temptations and comforts of the world, we sometimes stop God from weeding the flower-bed, since we are not able to surrender to Him. In our weakness, suffering, and in my case, even encounters with the Devil. God gives us free will. It is in being able to see our weakness and failures that we truly cling to the light, love and mercy of God. We find that we can then surrender through our failings, because God is truly what we want, and God knows how we feel in our hearts.
     It is like grapes in the wine press; out of our weakness and failure, God draws good. But sometimes, it comes through suffering. Then comes surrender, and we call out to our Holy and Loving Mother for help. As for myself, I feel that God has plucked out the big weeds, but He must continue to pluck out the small ones as well. And sometimes I feel that the small ones are harder than the big ones, because as the light shines more on the flower bed and the rose, the more drawn to God we become, out of love. Yet I am caught with the weeds, because I am married with a family, and there are all sorts of demands on me. I feel sometimes that I would truly love to be on my own, to be able to pray more without all other distractions. However, I know that would be too easy, and there is no easy way. The narrow road to God gets harder as we go on, but as we surrender and give of ourselves to others out of love for one another in God, the more we allow God to give of Himself to us, in the light of the Holy Spirit. The rose comes into bloom the more we surrender, the more we allow God to feed the rose with all of His graces.

GIFT OF INSPIRED PRAYER

Christina, awakened one morning around 4 a.m. was led to write. This is the utterance.
Dear Lord,
     Gaze upon me now. What You will see is but one single wound. Lord, as You draw close I receive but one sip of the fullness of the bitter chalice that once pierced Your Heart so deeply. Yes, dear Lord, but you are God and only God alone can know of its bitterness. But to the weakness of my being its bitterness pierces through my heart and soul. The sweetness of Your Presence no longer do I see, nor Your gaze upon me. To darkness You have left me to feel just a little of that bitterness. O Lord, draw back to Your Heart so sweet as honey, Your wandering people. Gaze upon the poverty of your people. Lord you see our nakedness of soul, the cloud of darkness ever at our side, to sway us. How poor, Oh Lord, we are. Nothing hidden from Your gaze. But dear Lord, I give that little that I have and yet have not, for Lord, all that I have is Thine. Draw me, O Lord, to Thy Sacred Side. Let me become the chalice that Thy mercy fills. Be it for me but bitterness. In Thy mercy be my strength, Lord my God. This holy night I call on Thee. My God, gaze upon Your people's poverty of light, as I in my poor poverty, in nothingness desire Your gaze to be upon the five continents of Your world's creation. Let Your gaze of mercy, consume and illuminate and penetrate all who need Your light and grace and mercy, even in the depths of this household. Jesus I offer now all that's left of my nothingness and of my nakedness before Thee. Take, O Lord, what belongs to Thee. I now desire to take to myself the bitterness of what Thou my Lord desires, and in that gaze of love and mercy pray for the goodness of Thy Holy Wound to be for me, strength in those hours, fast approaching. But Lord, inflame with love those who are dear to Thy Sacred Heart. Draw them back from Hades. Renew them with Thy mercy. Bathe them in the depths of Thy Divine Mercy. O Lord, what I do ask for, I ask for love of Thee. Yes, only You, dear Lord, can understand me. I feel the depths of sorrow as darkness overcomes my poor naked wounds. O yes, Lord, as Your glance can now see nothing in me but one single wound. That, O Lord, is what I have become. My friends are but few. But yes, Lord, for those few I thank Thee, and I also thank Thee for the many who have become my wound for love of Thee my dear Lord. When and where O Lord art Thou going to carry me away in the wings of Thy Holy Spirit to everlasting sleep in Thee? Dear Lord, none can understand my heart is now Thine, to be with Thee forever, but only in the sweetness of Your embrace, for I will find You my Lord in the depth of my being, to be forever Yours my God. Take from me, even my poor misery, as that is what I have become Lord. I am stripped and nothing but a single wound. Sweet Jesus my heart has no joy, just the bitterness of the Cross. Yes, dear Lord, place there, my body on the Cross, to be for me, but bitterness, but, to Thee, draw Your wandering people through Your gaze of mercy. Take what belongs to Thee. My Lord and my God I have but poorness to offer just as I am to be consumed in the Cross, but of Love. Lord you are light and life, so You can see my life is but little - even tiny - before the great Majesty of Your Love and Mercy.

EUCHARISTIC MIRACLES

     Once while attending Mass at a church in Northern Ireland, the Holy Eucharist miraculously changed to flesh in her mouth. On another occasion, when offered the chalice by Our Lady, Christina saw and tasted the Precious Blood in the form of actual blood. Both times, she was shocked. Christina says,
"Everything slowed down. It was as if I were outside the world. I went back to my seat after I had received the Holy Eucharist. Then, I became unaware of the people. I became very peaceful. I could feel the Holy Eucharist growing in my mouth. It became like jelly, or flesh. I was thinking: 'Dear Lord, How am I going to swallow this. Am I going to choke?' But automatically, it went down. I could feel it go down. I swallowed the Holy Eucharist without any trouble. On another occasion, I received the Precious Blood from the chalice handed to me by Our Lady. I was handed the chalice, but I could feel a different liquid in my mouth. Instantly I knew what it was. It was the Precious Blood. It tasted different; but like the pains in my hands, I did not look."

PRAYER FOR THE SICK

Christina received a special prayer to be used when interceding for healing.

"Behold the Wood of the Cross of Jesus Christ. The Lamb of God I trust unto you; the Precious Blood of the Lamb to penetrate and heal you in body and soul. Henceforth, the triumph of the Lord God of Mercy; henceforth all creatures of the world shall bless Thy Holy Name.

"Jesus, have mercy on all poor sinners, now and forever.

"Come the Holy Light of God into the souls of all those who are in darkness; light and heal through Thy Precious Blood.

"O Lamb of God.
Behold Thee ever glorious before the Holy Throne of God Our Father.
Amen."

BILOCATION

"I did not know what country it was but the people were all black. The strange thing is, they were not speaking English but I did know what they were saying as clearly as if it was English. They were not Catholic. There was a witch-doctor. He tried to make sure I was not some evil spirit. I assured him I was not an evil spirit. I was a messenger from God. I told them of God and Our Holy Mother. But this doctor man was not sure of me but in the situation one of them said, "Are you an angel?" I said, "Do you know about angels?" Then they were all baffled because the young girl who said this did not know what or why she had said it because she did not know of angels."

SUFFERING OF MIND

"When I suffer in mind, it's like a torment; I never know peace. I am in anguish and I can recognize it as being that. I am really mentally distracted to a point. I become so upset that it doesn't go away. Sometimes when I'm permitted to go through inner suffering or when I see a lot of sin, if God permits it, the sin causes an anguish and a tearfulness. The pain of heart is like a deep sorrow but it also afflicts the mind. The pain of the body can or cannot be bearable - it is very difficult to express in words. It is a feeling of being abandoned and in darkness. No earthly person can remove this void until God decides to fill it with His grace and the light of the Holy Spirit. It is sin which is the cause of all suffering, as Our Lady Herself said in one message.
     I've been permitted to see people sin and as Our Blessed Mother said, "Do as I have done, ponder all in your heart and pray."
     From what I've seen, I now realize that all the sin of the world and all the sins of the flesh are tearing the Hearts of Jesus and His Blessed Mother apart. For me, that's a part of the suffering of my heart and of my mind. Sometimes, I feel deep physical pains in my wrists which are the wounds of Jesus. The pain extends down to the palms of my hands and I experience a burning sensation in the palms of my hands. I don't like talking about this too often to be truthful to you. For example, today I felt pain going down through my hands a number of times. I'm glad when the Lord doesn't permit it to be seen. But sometimes the marks come out. Sometimes I feel like running away from the marks. The reality of them comes and stays with me. I can surrender and accept the pain but not the visibility of it. I get pain in my hands, my feet and my head. On three occasions I experienced it through my heart. That's one form of physical suffering. But, when I try to explain the suffering of my soul. . . the suffering of the soul is beyond suffering of mind or body. The inner me is crushed completely. And it's worse than the other types of suffering. Suppose your heart is sensitive and there's a Band-Aid over your heart closing a wound. If someone was to come along and rip that Band-Aid off quickly, you'd be in so much pain.
     Now it's the same for my inner soul, it's like being stripped and stretched. And then, there is an inflow of light. When this inflow of light comes, it's beautiful, but it burns right here in my heart. Now I don't understand this. I don't even know what I am talking about, except, I know it happens to me. I'm not great at expressing it. But I don't know any other way to explain it other than what I am saying right now.

     The marks - the stigmata - have bled at times. It's as if a great heat comes from them. They get raw and then go away. I have pain from the marks when they're visible. Although, I sometimes have the pain even more severely without the marks showing at all. I've been begging and praying to God, that He won't let the marks be visible because I don't like them to be visible. Then again, this is my will conflicting with the Will of God. So, I just say at the end of the prayer, 'Lord, please help me in my weakness, and not my will be done, but Yours.'
     The visible marks can come and go. Sometimes the pain can be there even when there are no marks. It's as if there are holes there. I can feel, as I said, sharp thorns going down into particular areas on my head. I can feel this when the marks are there or not there.

THE WORST SUFFERING

     "It's hard to say which. The inner abandonment and suffering and the mental endurance that goes with it I think is the most horrific. The physical pain is easy, compared to that. The mockery and disbelief of people, not directly at me but their blindness and deafness to the call of Our Lady; that really drives me nearly insane.
     "You would give your life, time and time again, even to wipe one of the tears of blood from Her face, because it pierces your heart in a way that there's no words for. She weeps blood for Her children who are deaf to Her call.
     If a child is within a house, and the house is in flames, and you couldn't get to that child to take it out of the flames, your heart would be broken and you would be mentally distraught. It is the same sense of helplessness you feel when you can't wipe the tears of blood from Our Blessed Mother's face and from Her eyes. The only way you can do it, is surrender to whatever God permits, in the hope that God will lessen Her tears, that She will be in less pain of heart for Her Children."

GOD'S USE OF OUR SUFFERING

"The Lord has taught me about suffering as a victim soul. The only way I can really explain it in terms of the Mystical Body of Christ, is like this. The left hand is one part of our body and the right hand is another. Let us say, the right hand is paralyzed and the left has to work harder to compensate for the inactive hand. This hand is like a person who has responded and is open to God. God can then pour His grace into this person's soul. So, the person's heart is open to respond to God's spirit and grace. This person is like an open hand to do God's work. The person that's closed to God and not aware of Him is like a paralyzed hand. The more God gives to this open person, the more the Evil One wants to attack him because of his value to the Mystical Body of Christ. This is what Jesus does through the surrender and suffering of the victim soul. Jesus lets His grace flow freely from the left hand's work through to the right hand. This brings life into it. This is called conversion. Anyone who loves Jesus will love suffering because Jesus draws good out of suffering for the conversion of others."

HER OWN DEATH

     "I have been shown my own death. I was shown my death in one way and I pleaded with God, at that very moment, that what Jesus showed me seemed too easy. I inwardly yearned, at that moment for something much more difficult. Normally speaking, I wouldn't ask for something more difficult. Only if God inspired me to desire it this way. So when I desired a more difficult death, Jesus said to me that He didn't desire me to suffer so much. Then I said, 'But Lord, only in this way can I be of any value. Anything I would have to suffer, I know will be in union with you'.
     I was shown my soul leaving my body, and Jesus and Our Blessed Mother coming to meet me.
     That was where I pleaded for extra suffering, for the more difficult type of death, and Jesus didn't let me know which one then it would be.
     As regards the precise form of death shown, I prefer not to talk about it. I shared it with my spiritual director."